How do you see yourself? How do you see others? How do we know when we’re seeing clearly or have self perception
People present themselves the way they want others to see them. Really all we know of someone is what they
present to us, we feel that we are known based on how we present ourselves…
How do we present ourselves and how do we know we are being perceived as we want to be.
This may not be an issue for everyone, maybe you don’t really care how people perceive you.
The reason I care is because I have some personal self perception distortions. These can be a hinderance to my
relationships, my life as a whole.
Self awareness is important for us all to have, it allows us to make any changes to ourselves that we want to improve and by doing so helps us become who we want to be and where we want to be in life.
Here’s an example of a distortion; I feel as though people don’t want to be around me, that there is something about me that turns people off and I feel that it may be the way I sometimes aggressively express myself.
As you may guess, feeling that unwelcome in life obviously will cause me problems. Unnecessary confusion; sadness, even guilt.
Self perception distortions will come in many different ways, this is one example of many different scenarios.
I learned how to talk back to myself and these distortions through cognitive behavioral therapy, also known as CBT.
Here’s how to talk back and free yourself from self perception distortions:
- Is that really true that people don’t want to be around me?
- Are my strong opinions and somewhat forceful manner necessarily a bad thing?
Step two: Positive thinking, prove yourself wrong.
- When I really think about it, it’s not true at all. I can list many people who love my company.
- These are traits of leaders! Highly respected people.
- I possibly am not as forceful and aggressive as I think I am.
Often just taking the time to think it through will solve your self perception distortions and raise your self awareness.
For me, my conclusion was that it’s absolutely absurd to think that everyone doesn’t want to be around me because
of one trait I may have out of many.
After thinking it through I had successfully worked through this distortion and realized that the reality of that belief was probably extremely unlikely, which is exactly why it’s called a distortion.