Do we really teach people how to treat us? Is it not our responsibility to treat others with respect?
“Don’t apologize for me, you aren’t responsible for my actions”
That sentence is one that has etched itself in the forefront of my mind. It made sense. Still does, but…
What about when we’re told that we teach people how to treat us, who’s responsible then?
When do we take ownership of our actions and why, when someone is treated badly it’s their own fault?
Here’s an example;
Sally seems to get taken advantage of, taken for granted and often talked down to and maybe ridiculed a bit too often.
Some would say that it’s because she isn’t assertive enough, possibly doesn’t stand up for herself and doesn’t know
how to demand respect.
Along comes Bob. He is extremely patronizing and also has insulted her on several occassions.
Bill and Tracy also have treated Sally with disrespect by using her as the butt of many jokes.
This seems to be a pattern.
Is this Sally’s fault?
Is it acceptable for these people to act this way towards her and why are they doing it? Because they can?
When do the people behind this take ownership of their behaviour? When can Sally stop blaming herself?
In my opinion, this is a case where it is absolutely ridiculous that Sally has been conditioned to believe that there
is something wrong with her, that she doesn’t know how to manage the way people treat her.
Shouldn’t people treat all with respect and not just those who portray an intolerance?
This is where the onus is on you, buddy (the patronizing arsehole). Just because you can, you do. This makes you faulty; mean, rude, a person I don’t want to know. Get a hold on yourself and treat ALL with kindness and respect.
As for Sally, it’s not your fault and shame on anyone who tramples on you and makes you feel bad. There is nothing wrong with learning some tricks to help yourself out like, how to be more assertive for example, however, it is not you who forces those that treat you badly to do so.
It’s their responsibility to act appropriately, their self esteem issues are being taken out on you and that is THEIR flaw, issue, problem (whatever you choose to call it) not yours.