Here is a sample of what I want my profile to say. I understand it isn’t appropriate if I’m trying to attract someone to have that as my online dating profile so I will refrain, for now. hehe.
Warning: Use of profanity.
Iím a single girl, early thirties, no kids, a cat, want a dog and have a passion for kindness and intolerance for stupidity.
Iím a girly girl who likes shoes, pink and fluffy things just as much as I like to fish and kick your ass at table tennis. (Or beer pong but whatís the diff)
Iím sweet as a cinnamon bun but happen to talk like a trucker, fucker lol. Yes, I also thought that was funny and sometimes act like Iím 5.
Why am I single? It could be my Borderline Personality Disorder but I like to think itís just bad luck. Who the hell isnít a little emotionally unstable now and then.
I have a great sense of humor, I think baby jokes are funny however, I donít think talking babies on T.V. are. If your favorite show is a cartoon I donít think weíre on the same page.
I love to watch certain T.V. shows. I like the kinds that are on at specific times on certain days for a specific time. I donít rot my brains by sitting in front of a screen at all hours and thereís no way that all of those are your favorites. If this is how you want to spend your days youíre too fucking lazy and I wonít be able to handle you. I like some brains in that head of yours.
I like to listen and learn about people, specifically the ones Iím on dates with however, this seems to lead my date to think that weíre only going to talk about him the whole god dam time. Iíd like to be asked some questions too! Are those real does NOT count.
Coming over is not a date. Make a fucking effort; Iím not a mail order bride. Wanting to be courted is not greedy and does not mean Iím a gold digging bitch, it simply means a Ďwanna chillí isnít going to cut it. If thatís all I wanted I wouldnít be torturing myself by being on an online dating site in the hopes that I just might find a really decent man that fits me like a glove.
I know from previous profiles that by now you arenít even reading anymore so I can pretty much say whatever I want.
Do you realize that there is a scale in which one uses to determine if someone is a suitable match for them? In terms of physical appearance, I mean. For example, if you think you are an 8, you arenít going to date a 2 and vice versa. Letís be realistic, you know where you are on that scale based on your life experiences and relationships so donít play stupid. This isnít me being shallow; itís the entire human species being shallow. I have no interest in dating 2ís so as nice as you may be, your rotten 5 teeth and 72 year old body arenít even on my radar so letís not waste each otherís time. Seriously. God! I get so annoyed just thinking about this. Thereís nothing wrong with going after what you want but CíMON!!
Oh, and if Iím closer to your son or daughters age than yours, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MESSAGING ME?
Iíd usually write how I probably wonít answer you if you only send me a Ďheyí or Ďwhatís upí but like I said, you arenít even reading this. Itís fucking mental how many Ďheyísí or Ďwhatís upísí Iíve received in my inbox. I just wanna yell at you, get the fuck off the site and go to a stinking chat room, at least there you probably will get a show.
Iím worn out now, going over all of these memories and experiences of this whole online dating thing. Sigh.