Friends, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have some disturbing news. You might want to sit down. A war is being waged. Between high fashion and the high street. I won’t bother you with the politics, but the crux of the issue is the width of your trouser leg. I know, I know: it just keeps getting worse and worse.
It’s been going on for some time now. Fashion decreed the skinny jean to be the epitome of gauche; we mortals here on earth refused to listen (hey, when you’ve invested in 15 pairs in every conceivable colour and shade of denim, who can blame you?). Chaos ensued. Well, it didn’t, but I’d imagine a few fashion editors and designers are getting mighty frustrated over our unwillingness to take note.
Personally I don’t know how skinny jeans got such a hold over us in the first place, they being by an item of clothing designed specifically to highlight some of our most commonly lamented problem areas - who knew that’d take - not to mention apparently the culprits behind rising infertility in men. Nuts! (Pardon the pun.) But then look at leggings - two words: camel toe - and somehow we’re still leaving the house wearing them as trousers like it’s 2005.
The idea of a wider leg, which promises to flatter and even provide some much needed cool drafts occasionally in the summer, entirely avoiding that horrid, second skin peel off and, God forbid, sweat stains, sounds like a much more sensible idea. The only issue is you might have to be a bit more careful about your shoe choice with them, they most often requiring a heel or some form of wedge; granted, they’re not as easy to automatically team with anything with as the skinny jean is, which has become veritable fashion backdrop for any item of clothing. Much like wallpaper. And would you go out wearing wallpaper? Well, I rest my case.
You’re not alone on this: I admittedly still blanch at the idea of the boot cut, but that’s just indicative of our aversion to the flattering and fashion’s ingrained idea that it has to be hard to be chic - see: punishingly high heels. Fashion likes to challenge us to prove our worth, separate the wheat from the chaff, if you will. Otherwise, chances are we’d all be in onesies, which would probably see an end to reproduction as a direct result and we’d be extinct within the century, so perhaps this is a good thing. But really, there’s challenging and then there’s self-masochism and personally, I just haven’t got the stamina to wear the fashion equivalent of clingfilm as trousers when there is a much more chic alternative. Come on guys, let’s start the revolution.